Okay so maybe LOVE is a strong word. Maybe HATE would be more accurate. BUT at least you can PROVE that D is there. You can check blood glucose and see that the pancreas is faulty. You can use insulin to treat a high bg and know within a short amount of time whether it was the right amount or not. You will know two hours after a meal whether the you had enough insulin to "cover" your carbs. Pretty simple right. There are medical tests and it can be proven.
When you are dealing with a mental illness, it is a whole other story. There is no definative answer to what is going on. There is not any test with numbers to point you in the right direction. It is all based on behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.
If you have a bg of 457, no one will tell you that you don't have D. If you have a malignant tumor, no one will tell you that you don't have cancer. But saying you have a mental illness, people sure have their opinions.
Here are examples.
People who suffer from bipolar, tend to have trouble waking up in the morning, its called sleep intertia. Even once they are awake, it may take hours for their brain to begin to function as it should. Outsiders say: Go to bed earlier.
Try to explain to a PE teacher why your kid can actively participate in a relay race one day without having a breakdown but can't the next day. Try to explain that a part of bipolar is sometimes feeling like you have to be perfect, like you have to win. And if you don't win, you don't know how to handle that. Your brain betrays you and stops all forms of rational thinking. Not to mention, add in ADHD, and a relay containing multiple steps, you find yourself being confused but needing to win all at the same time. Outsiders say: You did this other game fine yesterday, it is just an excuse. Some people feel like they have to win, that is just how some people are.
So I thought I had more examples of this but right now it all escapes me. Diabetes is a medical condition. Yes it sucks. Yes I wish I didn't have to poke Jada's little fingers ten times a day. I wish her pancreas worked. I wish I didn't have to worry about low blood sugar or high blood sugar and the fact that either one of those can take my precious child away from me. Diabetes is horrible. But it can be proven without a doubt. It isn't subjective.
On the other hand, mental illness is. Even though I know that Jada suffers from bipolar disorder and I can shout it from the roof top all I want and explain (well attempt to) what is going on in her mind, people will believe what they want. Their comments will still be made. They will say whatever it is that they think to be true. And there is not a single test I can use to throw in their face and say SEE HERE IT IS! SHE DOES HAVE THIS! KEEP YOUR COMMENTS AND REMARKS TO YOURSELF AND DEAL WITH HER ACCORDINGLY!
Obviosuly this post is coming from somewhere. Jada has trouble in PE. Although she always has, it was better. But lately, not so much. And although it has been said that she is not to be forced in partipating in anything involving competition, she still is. So yes, one day she can do a relay race holding a spoon with a ball on it and the next day she can't do a relay involving stepping in a hoola-hoop, moving the next hoola-hoop, stepping into that one, the moving the other one in front and so on. She suffers from MOOD INSTABILITIES. Sometimes she can be a happy loser and sometimes she can't. Sometimes she has to be perfect. Then there were multiple steps involved in that relay. She is confused with multiple steps and was overwhelmed. She melts down when she is overwhelmed. And then yes, everyone starts looking at her which sets off her anxiety. No I am not trying to make excuses for what you see as a tantrum. She suffers from a mental illness. And just as a fever is a symptom of an infection, a meltdown is a symptom of her illness. The PE teacher has her opinions. Great. Who cares? But when I am telling you that my child has this disorder and that the perfection thing and the meltdown thing is a part of it, don't tell me that some kids just feel like they have to win and try to downplay what is going on with my child. Sure it may not be a big deal in your day, but it is in hers. These meltdowns, frustrations, and anxiety events are each a part of her bigger picture.
So I am sensing a meeting coming about this. I need more communication as to what is going on during her day. I need to know if she had a meltdown and what sparked it. Am I asking too much? I don't think so.
6 comments:
I can only imagine! You know what you know about your child and her condition....I know you will fight to be heard and understood! Ive been in this same place many times before....WE know whats going on. Thats all that matters. Leave ignorance OUT. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
You are NOT asking too much. I totally get it and can imagine how frustrated you must be. Hang in there! As Kelly said, fight, fight, fight!
I am so sorry you are having to go through that, sometimes it seems that some people, it they are not personally affected by something they could care less about it, no compassion or even a willingness to learn about the illness. I can't imagine the struggle that your daughter faces everyday, it really makes me want to cry.
I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog today and offering your support. I hope that things work out for you and your daughter and that her school will begin to work with you and not against you.
I cannot even imagine the mental illness on top of D. I swear after watching Joe's numbers on Dexter yesterday go from a post-meal 360 down to 70 in an hour...I don't know how these kids hold it together so well. That has gotta feel like crap...then to add on top of that a mental illness...well forget about it!
I am so sorry that you, once again, are having to deal with people who are unable to put them selves (even a little bit) in your situation. As Connie said, some people just aren't empathetic to situations that don't personally affect them. Those people drive me nuts. So, pull up your boot straps girl and go in and do your magic.
Love ya and have a wonderful weekend.
I just wanna say that
YOU FREAKIN ROCK WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the way you advocate for Jada!!!!!
yes, i can see how what seems like a simple PE activity is a complete disaster for a BP kid. like you said, the competition, which adds stress. then the multi-step directions which most BP kids have trouble processing. then add in the social pressure and embarrassment of her peers watching her suffer. mix it all up and you have one big traumatizing disaster. even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to the PE teacher, I'm sure it is for jada. these kids tend to have low self esteem to begin with. if they fail, or even aren't the best at something, it only triggers the self esteem issue.
Taz has trouble in school with large group activities. often his teacher says he just refuses to participate. for them that's a big problem that they are "working on". they think with encouragement and consistency he will eventually do it and like it. i told them that wasn't likely and who cares if he doesn't want to do the hokey pokey. just let him sit out and watch. in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter. some kids like group games, some don't. i don't see why any of them should be forced. what life skill do you learn by doing sack races anyway?
Post a Comment