Diabetes Camp: In the Majority but Not

Jada has been at the American Diabetes Association Diabetes Camp. It has been quite a week.

I was very prepared to send her. I knew her D care would be in great hands. After all, the camp is staffed with Nurses, Doctors, and Dieticians as well as the camp counselors. I had no doubt that the staff could handle any D senario that could come up.

But Jada has more than D. She requires more attention. Her mood shifts in an instant. She can be smiling one moment and hitting someone the next. Multi-step directions can be overwhelming and can cause her to become aggitated. Many things can take her in any direction.

But I was ready to send her. I had been counting down. I needed a break. A break from D. A break from the mood shifts. A break from the hitting. A break from it all.

And that is what I got.

Sunday, we drove the two and a half hours to camp for drop off. She was as ready to be there as I was to let her be there. We met with the nurse, dieticians, nurse (again), pharmacists (for her oral meds), and the doctor. We were done. I got her settled into her bunk. Of course, we were late so all that was left were top bunks, which was aggrivation number one. She was all happy to climb up there but too scared to get down. The counselor happily moved her to a bottom bunk that another counselor had. Problem one...solved. She changed into her swimsuite, kissed me bye and headed out. As did I.

We had a nice drive home, stopping at every Wendy's for a Frosty and every Dairy Queen for a dipped cone along the way. No bg checks. No carb counting. No bolusing.

Sunday night, I had a freak out moment where I wanted to jump in the car and get her but someone smart talked me out of it. I freaked out. But I calmed down and she stayed the week. I couldn't talk too much about her because I would freak out everytime.

The week went by very quietly. I never heard from camp so I went with the no news is good news mentality and held the freak out moments to a minimum.

Today is Friday. I got to see her tonight. I was so excited but scared all at the same time. Of course, I missed her like crazy. She has been with me for the last seven years, at my side for seven years. And this week she wasn't. But I was also scared. I had no idea how her mood had been for the week. Did she get aggressive at all? Had she screamed at anyone? Was she able to participate in the activities without difficulties? I had no idea. I wasn't scared at all about her diabetes care, she was in capable hands. But her mood. I had no idea what to expect. How would she be when she saw us?

There we were, waiting in the pavillion for the closing festivities to begin. Scared. Nervous. Excited. The campers start to come. And I see her. She sees us. She let out this squeal to pure joy and excitement. That sound, so beautiful, is right up there with her first cry, first words, first I love you. It was great. Then she was telling her friends that we were her family. It was a great moment. She came in with her group, participating, which was a feat within itself. To her, singing is boring. It's camp, there are camp songs.

Anywho. She sat like she was supposed to. The awards were handed out. Erin, so cute, sat anxiously waiting for Jada to win one but she didn't (no biggie). We watched a slide show from the week. I was so excited to see many of Jada smiling and involved. Then there was this picture of a few kids sitting in a row eating watermelon. Then there were a few pictures of kids checking their blood sugars. Then it hit me. All that excitment I felt, turned to, well I can't find the word to describe it. I got teary eyed. I knew that Jada was at camp with kids with D. My head knew it. But in that moment, seeing those pictures, my heart knew it. Jada, for once, was in the majority. Tears filled my eyes.

Not too much longer, we were headed outside for the bonfire. There I saw Jada begin to disinigrate. She became not able to sit still. She started throwing her glow necklace around. She was not able to listen and stay on task. And it hit me. Even among kids with D, she still is in the minority. Even standing in line to check bgs or ketones, she is still not fitting in. She still has mood disorder. Then it really hit home when the campfire was over and it was time for the campers to head back to the bunk houses. Jada wanted me to go with her and see her bag. I explained to her that I couldn't as did her counselor. She became aggitated at that thought. Her counselor had to pretty much escort her to the bunk house. It broke me. Of course, I am assuming that that sort of thing happened throughout the week, but I really don't know. I get to pick her up in the morning at nine. I am sure it will be chaotic. But I will get to bring Jada home with me. I will have my answers then.