Stress Overload

So much stress.

I find myself awake most nights these days. I am physically exhausted but my mind never quits. I lay in bed and it [my mind] acts like the freaking Energizer Bunny. It keeps going and going and going. So much in there.

Diabetes. Mood instabilities. Hypothyroidism. Defiance.

Then the "normal" stuff.

School. Homework. Housework. Dinner. Baths. Hair. Bed time. Math facts.

Then the newest thing. Jada's dad is now threatening to show up at school. Excuse me. You haven't been involved in seven and a half years. Now you decide to jump in. Don't get me wrong, I am all for him being involved. He's just going about it the wrong way. There are no custody arrangements so legally he could sign her out of school and there is nothing I could do about it. I'm concerned about her safety. Diabetes. He doesn't know the first thing about it. Never checked a blood sugar, given her insulin. NOTHING. I wouldn't worry so much if it weren't for diabetes. If she didn't have diabetes and he picked her up, I would still know that she would get back to me safe and alive. But reality is she does have diabetes. He wouldn't know to check her blood sugar. He wouldn't know to count carbs, let alone how to give her insulin or even know that is needed. I have been through many conversations, asking him to learn about her conditions but he hasn't. I could go on and on. Maybe this deserves its own blog post. Never the less, its a safety concern. I want my child to be safe and alive. I don't think that's asking too much.

What else?

Let's see. There's the lack of job, lack of car (so I can't get a job), lack of money (see previous), Jada's medical bills that aren't getting paid and soon to be homeless.

All this stress is now effecting my health. My blood pressure has been high for days. . My back is in pain and full of knots.

Guess this post turned into a bit of a pity party. I know its not all doom and gloom like it sounds. Deep down I know things will work out and get better but right now I'm in stress overload. Plus, a girls gotta vent right?

Maybe I can sleep now.