Unfair

Who decided that things would be so unfair?

I don't usually sit in a bathe of self pity over unfairness but I am these last few days.

I have a special needs child and as such, I have limitations. I can only work during certain hours of the day because there is no one to care for my child outside of school hours. I take care of my child so I don't go out to meet other people or have any resemblance of a social life. I take responsibilities for my actions and where does that get me? Penniless. Lonely. Responsible.

I can't afford to make ends meet. I can't afford rent much less Christmas. And you say you'll help. Oh but wait. It becomes oh you're sorry. You can't. You work. You can work whatever hours you want because you don't have limits. And and you can go out or do whatever, whenever because again, you don't have limits. You don't take care of your responsibilities. But you can have a relationship. You can go walk the mall and buy brand new shoes while I am digging through clothes bins at church for myself.

So yeah. Who the hell decided things would be so effing unfair? Why am I the one is so much need when I am the one being responsible? Why can't I get ahead or even break even?

Why is it so easy for some people to cheat the system but so hard for me to get assistance for basic needs? Why did I get more when I had more and get less now that I have less?

I just have no idea.